무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian students from 2011 to 2014. Summarize the

작성자: 정*원
2021-03-04 3700

회원님의 영작문

The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students visited Paris reached a high place at 20000 in 2013. However, the number of students visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20000 to 18000 between 2013 and 2014. The number of students visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. The number of students visited Rome showed up and down during 2 years after 2012.
In contrast, the number of students visited London increased gradually from 15000 in 2011 to nearly 20000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students visited Paris in 2014, showed a peak at approximately 20000 at the end of the research period.
Overall, the number of students visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students visited Rome decreased.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Young Won!

This is a very good and critical analysis of the graph that I directed you to refer to on the internet.

You are very good in analyzing the data. Take note that when we refer to people, we use 'who' so that we can refrain calling them "people" or make use of incorrect pronouns.

Thanks for doing this IELTS writing task.

See you in a couple of hours!

-T. Donna =)

The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. 
>> The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students who visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. 

As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students visited Paris reached a high place at 20000 in 2013.
>> As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students who visited Paris reached at a high  at 20,000 in 2013.

However, the number of students visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20000 to 18000 between 2013 and 2014. 
>> However, the number of students who visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20,000 to 18,000 between 2013 and 2014.

The number of students visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. 
>> The number of students who visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period of 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. 

The number of students visited Rome showed up and down during 2 years after 2012.
>> The number of students who visited Rome showed and up and down trend for 2 years after 2012.

In contrast, the number of students visited London increased gradually from 15000 in 2011 to nearly 20000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students visited Paris in 2014, showed a peak at approximately 20000 at the end of the research period.
>> In contrast, the number of students who visited London increased gradually from 15,000 in 2011 to nearly 20,000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students who visited Paris in 2014, and showed a peak at approximately 20,000 at the end of the research period.

Overall, the number of students visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students visited Rome decreased.
>> Overall, the number of students who visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students who visited Rome decreased.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
105811 Homework: 전*옥 완료 2021-02-19 2
105810 If your life was in danger, who would you call and why? 노*이 완료 2021-02-19 1
105809 What basketball teams do you follow? What is interesting about... 정*훈 완료 2021-02-19 960
105808 02.19 Fri. About living. 홍*수 완료 2021-02-19 7
105807 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-02-19 1
105806 What do you say first when you answer a call? 권*희 완료 2021-02-19 1150
105805 Baseball instead of Basketball 곽*원 완료 2021-02-19 1237
105804 homework0219 김*현 완료 2021-02-19 962
105803 ENGLISH HOMEWORK 29 최*원 완료 2021-02-19 1214
105802 homework 이*아 완료 2021-02-19 1062
105801 Composition 변*훈 완료 2021-02-19 8
105800 Who would I go travel with 심*아 완료 2021-02-19 0
105799 How many cars would you like to have? Why ? 김*을 완료 2021-02-18 1031
105798 If you can control the time of your sleep, would you rather... 정*원 완료 2021-02-18 947
105797 The thing that’s not yet existing but I want to be invented 김*원 완료 2021-02-18 1056
105796 HOMEWORK FOR 02.18 정*영 완료 2021-02-18 1058
105795 Who do you think is/was the greatest man in Korea? 김*예 완료 2021-02-18 0
105794 What is a \'healing game\'? 김*예 완료 2021-02-18 0
105793 if I were a lyricist... 김*을 완료 2021-02-18 758
105792 Breaking a bad vice 김*환 완료 2021-02-18 1058

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]