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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK FOR 03.04

작성자: 정*영
2021-03-04 5415

회원님의 영작문

I worte my Self Introduction below.

After you check and correct that, I will memorize during weekends and then speech in front of you on Monday.

I would appreciate it if you check my accent, pronunciation, intonation, etc.

Have a good day. :D


First of all, thank you for giving this opportunity to introduce myself to you.
My name is Joon-Young Jung and I'm 37 years old.
After graduating from university, I joined DNACT company in 2012 and I worked there for 9 years.
DNACT is a sports brand company, and I worked in the sales department.
I was responsible for the 'Retail Area Manager' and also 'Sales MD' too.
It's not common to experience two positions so I can say I am Excellent understanding of Retail processes.
And I have high loyalty of company.
Because I didn't give up even if the compnay has a difficult situations like dbankupt.
If I get a job in your company, I will show you my loyalty to the company and passion for my work.
Thank you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Jun! I think this one is a good introduction. You are able to speak direct to the point. I can't wait to practice it with you! See you! Take care! - Faith-
I worte my Self Introduction below.
>> I wrote my Self Introduction below.
After you check and correct that, I will memorize during weekends and then speech in front of you on Monday.
>> After you check and correct that, I will memorize it during the weekend and then practice speaking in front of you on Monday.
I would appreciate it if you check my accent, pronunciation, intonation, etc.
>> CORRECT
Have a good day. :D
>> CORRECT
First of all, thank you for giving this opportunity to introduce myself to you.
>> CORRECT
My name is Joon-Young Jung and I'm 37 years old.
>> CORRECT
After graduating from university, I joined DNACT company in 2012 and I worked there for 9 years.
>> CORRECT
DNACT is a sports brand company, and I worked in the sales department.
>> DNACT is a sports company, and I worked in the sales department.
I was responsible for the 'Retail Area Manager' and also 'Sales MD' too.
>> I worked as a 'Retail Area Manager' and 'Sales MD' too.
It's not common to experience two positions so I can say I am Excellent understanding of Retail processes.
>> It's not common to experience two positions at the same company, so I can say I have excellent understanding of retail processes.
And I have high loyalty of company. 
>> And, I always have my loyalty to a company that I work for.
Because I didn't give up even if the compnay has a difficult situations like dbankupt.
>> I can say that confidently because in my previous company, I stayed there during its difficult situations, even if it was on the brink of bankruptcy.
If I get a job in your company, I will show you my loyalty to the company and passion for my work.
>> If given a chance to work in your company, I will show my loyalty and passion for my work.
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HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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04

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