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Vacation

작성자: 김*환
2021-03-04 5732

회원님의 영작문

My father's generation people thought that to go vacation after retirement. It shows generation gap. When my father was young. Korea was developed rapidly. So, they could do lots of things at lease they have a job. Example, buying a house, a car etc. That time, work Environment was bad, many people were death at work site. But, they had willingness that do work hard for their children. They didn't want to spend time for going vacation. Now. the world was changed. Young people want to go on a vacation instead of working.
Many young people want to be a rich who has a building and doesn't have a job.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Vacation

My father's generation people thought that to go vacation after retirement. 
>>> In my father's generation, people thought that you can go on a vacation after retirement. 

It shows generation gap. When my father was young. Korea was developed rapidly. 
>>> It shows the generation gap. When my father was young Korea was developing rapidly. 

So, they could do lots of things at lease they have a job.
>>> So, they could do lots of things as long as they have a job. 

Example, buying a house, a car etc. That time, work Environment was bad, many people were death at work site. 
>>> For example, buying a house, a car, etc. At that time, the work environment was bad, many people died at their workplace. 

But, they had willingness that do work hard for their children. 
>>> But, they had the willingness to work hard for their children.

They didn't want to spend time for going vacation. Now. the world was changed. 
>>> They didn't want to spend time going on vacation. Now, the world has changed. 

Young people want to go on a vacation instead of working.
>>> CORRECT

Many young people want to be a rich who has a building and doesn't have a job.
>>> Many young people want to be rich who own a building and don't need to work.
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