¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I enjoy the heat of the sun a little bit.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¶û
2021-03-05 3848

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Enjoy the heat of the sun is sometimes very hot, but sometimes very warm. I love to play outside, but I don't like getting wet, when I run very much, but sometimes heat of the sun is good at our health. In sweat, there are a lot of bad thing, if we exercise very hard then sweat are get out of my body. That means I exercised very hard! These is the good thing about heat of the sun, but It become very lazy then we do exercising this is bad thing about heat of the sun. That's why I enjoy the heat of the sun a little bit. (Just half*^^*)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Friday greetings Maria!

Enjoying the heat of the sun is when you are at the beach and want some sun tan. However, we Asians are not very fond of that. We love being fair with our skin and complexion. However, sometimes, we need the heat of the sun for some vitamins for it. Having too much of it too can make us sick.

So, just enough of the sun's heat is what we need. Enjoy the sun moderately.

Very good on this essay, Maria. See you!

-T. Donna =)

Enjoy the heat of the sun is sometimes very hot, but sometimes very warm. 
>> Enjoying the heat of the sun is sometimes very hot, but sometimes very warm. 

I love to play outside, but I don't like getting wet, when I run very much, but sometimes heat of the sun is good at our health. 
>> I love to play outside, but I don't like getting wet. When I run a lot sometimes, the heat of the sun is good for our health.  

In sweat, there are a lot of bad thing, if we exercise very hard then sweat are get out of my body. 
>>In sweat, there are a lot of bad things. If we exercise very hard then sweat are get out of my body. 

That means I exercised very hard! These is the good thing about heat of the sun, but It become very lazy then we do exercising this is bad thing about heat of the sun. 
>> That means I exercised very hard! This is a good thing about the heat of the sun but I becomes very lazy when we do exercise. This is bad thing about the heat of the sun. 

That's why I enjoy the heat of the sun a little bit. (Just half*^^*)
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107451 leader Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 693
107450 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 3
107449 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 621
107448 My country Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 734
107447 What was the most exciting thing that happened to you this... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107446 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 2
107445 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107444 home work(4.12) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1140
107443 Are there any foods or flavors which you didn\'t use to like... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 711
107442 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107441 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1020
107440 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107439 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 594
107438 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 874
107437 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 474
107436 Homework (260) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 685
107435 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1
107434 interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0
107433 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 625
107432 Moon takes election rout as reprimand from the public, Cheon Wa... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04