¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I enjoy the heat of the sun a little bit.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¶û
2021-03-05 3765

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Enjoy the heat of the sun is sometimes very hot, but sometimes very warm. I love to play outside, but I don't like getting wet, when I run very much, but sometimes heat of the sun is good at our health. In sweat, there are a lot of bad thing, if we exercise very hard then sweat are get out of my body. That means I exercised very hard! These is the good thing about heat of the sun, but It become very lazy then we do exercising this is bad thing about heat of the sun. That's why I enjoy the heat of the sun a little bit. (Just half*^^*)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Friday greetings Maria!

Enjoying the heat of the sun is when you are at the beach and want some sun tan. However, we Asians are not very fond of that. We love being fair with our skin and complexion. However, sometimes, we need the heat of the sun for some vitamins for it. Having too much of it too can make us sick.

So, just enough of the sun's heat is what we need. Enjoy the sun moderately.

Very good on this essay, Maria. See you!

-T. Donna =)

Enjoy the heat of the sun is sometimes very hot, but sometimes very warm. 
>> Enjoying the heat of the sun is sometimes very hot, but sometimes very warm. 

I love to play outside, but I don't like getting wet, when I run very much, but sometimes heat of the sun is good at our health. 
>> I love to play outside, but I don't like getting wet. When I run a lot sometimes, the heat of the sun is good for our health.  

In sweat, there are a lot of bad thing, if we exercise very hard then sweat are get out of my body. 
>>In sweat, there are a lot of bad things. If we exercise very hard then sweat are get out of my body. 

That means I exercised very hard! These is the good thing about heat of the sun, but It become very lazy then we do exercising this is bad thing about heat of the sun. 
>> That means I exercised very hard! This is a good thing about the heat of the sun but I becomes very lazy when we do exercise. This is bad thing about the heat of the sun. 

That's why I enjoy the heat of the sun a little bit. (Just half*^^*)
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106212 Hi º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4347
106211 Could you check my writing? Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4077
106210 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4919
106209 What is the most important characteristic to have when working... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4252
106208 What makes a city great to live in? Are cities good for the... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 1
106207 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4595
106206 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4
106205 What are the comedy movies you have seen? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5235
106204 The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 3634
106203 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 2
106202 If you went to school again, what would you do differently? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4663
106201 Face to face class ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 3990
106200 check please ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4461
106199 HOMEWORK FOR 03.03 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 4108
106198 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 5
106197 What do you like about cats? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 0
106196 Homework (233) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 3622
106195 [03/03]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 3
106194 How can we be more confident in looks? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 1
106193 How dangerous or safe are amusement park rides or attractions? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 4119

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04