¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Activities on a vacation.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-03-07 5415

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have a fear of heights. I never stand on edge of height place. When I was a high school student. I went to an amusement park for picnic. After riding a ride, I freaked out. I couldn't open my eyes while I was riding the ride. And, I was a member of special force, when I did military service. At that time I had to jump from a helicopter with a rope. The helicopter was flying. It was more difficult than I was hit by a person who was upper level than me. When I go no a vacation. I never do that kind of activities. I never spend money for resisting my fear.One of my friend suggested me a sky diving. I said "I don't understand that why people spend money to enjoy pain. If I have money enough to do sky diving, I would donate the money for poor people."

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Activities on a Vacation

I have a fear of heights. 
>>> I have fear of heights.

I never stand on edge of height place. 
>>>  I never stand on the edge of a high place. 

When I was a high school student. I went to an amusement park for picnic. 
>>> When I was a high school student I went to an amusement park for a picnic. 

After riding a ride, I freaked out. 
>>> CORRECT 

I couldn't open my eyes while I was riding the ride. 
>>> CORRECT 

And, I was a member of special force, when I did military service.
>>> And, I was a member of the special force when I did military service. 

 At that time I had to jump from a helicopter with a rope. The helicopter was flying. 
>>> At that time I had to jump from a helicopter with a rope while the helicopter was flying. 

It was more difficult than I was hit by a person who was upper level than me. 
>>> It was more difficult when I was hit by a person who was on the upper level than me. 

When I go no a vacation. I never do that kind of activities. I never spend money for resisting my fear.
>>> When I go on a vacation I never do that kind of activity. I never spend money to overcome my fear.

One of my friend suggested me a sky diving. I said "I don't understand that why people spend money to enjoy pain. 
>>> One of my friends suggested me to try sky diving. I said "I don't understand why people spend money to enjoy pain.

If I have money enough to do sky diving, I would donate the money for poor people."
>>>  If I have enough money to do sky diving, I would rather donate the money to the poor people."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107418 Homework {04/12} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 659
107417 What is your favorite commercial? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 600
107416 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1101
107415 What skill do you want to learn in the future and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0
107414 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 591
107413 What skill do you want to learn in the future and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0
107412 How do you greet your family and friends? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 627
107411 The situation of Corona Virus in your country ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 691
107410 Do you like watching documentaries? Why or why not? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 631
107409 I want to live near the ocean ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 7
107408 I\'m a little picky about food. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 744
107407 Interview 6 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 2
107406 Interview 5 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 2
107405 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 735
107404 Interview 4 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1
107403 Homwork ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 8
107402 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 583
107401 n your opinion, what is the best way to learn the English... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0
107400 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 530
107399 Tell me about the most interesting city in your country. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 719

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04