¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Activities on a vacation.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-03-07 5390

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have a fear of heights. I never stand on edge of height place. When I was a high school student. I went to an amusement park for picnic. After riding a ride, I freaked out. I couldn't open my eyes while I was riding the ride. And, I was a member of special force, when I did military service. At that time I had to jump from a helicopter with a rope. The helicopter was flying. It was more difficult than I was hit by a person who was upper level than me. When I go no a vacation. I never do that kind of activities. I never spend money for resisting my fear.One of my friend suggested me a sky diving. I said "I don't understand that why people spend money to enjoy pain. If I have money enough to do sky diving, I would donate the money for poor people."

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Activities on a Vacation

I have a fear of heights. 
>>> I have fear of heights.

I never stand on edge of height place. 
>>>  I never stand on the edge of a high place. 

When I was a high school student. I went to an amusement park for picnic. 
>>> When I was a high school student I went to an amusement park for a picnic. 

After riding a ride, I freaked out. 
>>> CORRECT 

I couldn't open my eyes while I was riding the ride. 
>>> CORRECT 

And, I was a member of special force, when I did military service.
>>> And, I was a member of the special force when I did military service. 

 At that time I had to jump from a helicopter with a rope. The helicopter was flying. 
>>> At that time I had to jump from a helicopter with a rope while the helicopter was flying. 

It was more difficult than I was hit by a person who was upper level than me. 
>>> It was more difficult when I was hit by a person who was on the upper level than me. 

When I go no a vacation. I never do that kind of activities. I never spend money for resisting my fear.
>>> When I go on a vacation I never do that kind of activity. I never spend money to overcome my fear.

One of my friend suggested me a sky diving. I said "I don't understand that why people spend money to enjoy pain. 
>>> One of my friends suggested me to try sky diving. I said "I don't understand why people spend money to enjoy pain.

If I have money enough to do sky diving, I would donate the money for poor people."
>>>  If I have enough money to do sky diving, I would rather donate the money to the poor people."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107201 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107200 If you could change any aspect of your personality, what would... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 491
107199 How does one\'s clothing describe a person to you? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 538
107198 What is your favorite TV program? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 505
107197 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 2
107196 Over half of single Koreans in their thirties living with... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 2
107195 Sorry teacher¢½ ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 580
107194 Speaking Test ¿À*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 1
107193 What\'s your thought on the by-election in Seoul? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 597
107192 Do you prefer to study with friends/classmates or to study... ¹Ú*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 574
107191 Homework (255) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 536
107190 My suitcase ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 3
107189 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 512
107188 The Korean Film Festival ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 548
107187 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 638
107186 [04/01]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 3
107185 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 612
107184 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 425
107183 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 0
107182 it is important for young children to go to school as soon as... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 454

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04