무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or m

작성자: 정*원
2021-03-08 4191

회원님의 영작문

It is commonly considered that some people are given with certain ability by nature, such as sport or music, and others are not. Otherwise, it is occasionally claimed that some children can be trained to be a great sport player or musician. There are plenty of talented people people in the world. I will discuss about how they got talents.
On the one hand, some people are born with a special ability genetically. For example, Mozart could play a piano when he was only 3 years old. He also could play piano song exactly same with other musician's playing as soon as he heard. He was born with a certain talent. On the other hand, there are a boy who had a disability. He was too weak to play outside because, he had a disease such as asthma innately. For son's health, his parents made him to learn swimming from he when was a little boy. He exercised swimming everyday hardly. Then he could not only breath well but also become a swimming player. We can find this kind of cases which is people

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Young Won!

It's a new week!

Thank you for sending this IELTS answer here on the composition site. Here you can see the grammar suggestions/ corrections and the clack part below shows the grouping of ideas so that it will be more logical and organized.

I will see you in class later for a little discussion for this answer. See you then!

-T. Donna =)

It is commonly considered that some people are given with certain ability by nature, such as sport or music, and others are not. 
>> It is commonly considered that some people are given certain abilities by nature such as sports or music, and others are not. 

Otherwise, it is occasionally claimed that some children can be trained to be a great sport player or musician. There are plenty of talented people people in the world. I will discuss about how they got talents.
>> Otherwise, it is occasionally claimed that some children can be trained to be a great sports players or musicians. There are plenty of talented people in the world. I will discuss about how they got talents.

On the one hand, some people are born with a special ability genetically. For example, Mozart could play a piano when he was only 3 years old. 
>> On the one hand, some people are born with special abilities genetically. For example, Mozart could play the piano when he was only 3 years old. 

He also could play piano song exactly same with other musician's playing as soon as he heard. He was born with a certain talent. 
>> He can play a piano song exactly the same with other musicians as soon as he heard it. He was born with the certain talent of music. 

On the other hand, there are a boy who had a disability. He was too weak to play outside because, he had a disease such as asthma innately. 
>> Correct!
>> Or: ...there was a boy...

For son's health, his parents made him to learn swimming from he when was a little boy. He exercised swimming everyday hardly. 
>> For their son's health, his parents made him learn swimming when he was a little boy. He exercised swimming well everyday. 

Then he could not only breath well but also become a swimming player. We can find this kind of cases which is people overcome their disabilities with severe and steady training. 
>> Then he could not only breath well but also become a good swimmer. We can find this kind of case in which people overcome their disabilities with severe/persistent/consistent and steady training. 

However, even if some were born with special ability innately, they wouldn’t become a great musician without a big effort.
>> Correct!

 In conclusion, if people are gifted or not, sincerity and struggling are indispensable to become a good person. Thus, any children can be who they want to be by training if they do their best.
>>  In conclusion, if people are gifted or not, sincerity and struggle are indispensable to become a good skilled or talented person. Thus, children can be who they want to be by training if they do their best.

It is commonly considered that some people are given certain abilities by nature such as sports or music, and others are not.  There are plenty of talented people in the world. I will discuss about how they got talents. 

Some people are born with special abilities genetically. Mozart could play the piano when he was only 3 years old. He can play a piano song exactly the same with other musicians as soon as he heard it. He was born with the certain talent of music. 

On the other hand, t is occasionally claimed that some children can be trained to be a great sports players or musicians.  For example,  is a boy who had a disability. He was too weak to play outside because, he had a disease such as asthma innately. For their son's health, his parents made him learn swimming when he was a little boy. He exercised swimming well everyday. Then he could not only breath well but also become a good swimmer. We can find this kind of case in which people overcome their disabilities with severe/persistent/consistent and steady training. Even if some were born with special ability innately, they wouldn’t become a great musician without a big effort.

In conclusion, if people are gifted or not, sincerity and struggle are indispensable to become a good skilled or talented person. Thus, children can be who they want to be by training if they do their best.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
106333 homework 이*아 완료 2021-03-08 4777
106332 Does the media concentrate too much on \"bad news\" and not... 강*주 완료 2021-03-08 4578
106331 Homework (236) 박*하 완료 2021-03-08 4953
106330 \"Dogs are man\'s best friend.\" What does this mean and do... 황*조 완료 2021-03-08 4327
106329 HOMEWORK 박*연 완료 2021-03-08 3022
106328 Hm 장*환 완료 2021-03-08 5128
106327 What do you feel when you are spending money? 이*준 완료 2021-03-08 4684
106326 grammar 손*림 완료 2021-03-08 5008
106325 HOMEWORK 정*주 완료 2021-03-08 0
106324 HOMEWORK 박*연 완료 2021-03-08 5096
106323 What kind of problems do poor people have? 노*이 완료 2021-03-08 2
106322 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... 허*늘 완료 2021-03-08 5
106321 Work email draft - correction (3/3) 김*영 완료 2021-03-08 0
106320 Work email draft - correction (2) 김*영 완료 2021-03-08 0
106319 homework 정*호 완료 2021-03-08 0
106318 Work email draft - correction (1/2) 김*영 완료 2021-03-08 26
106317 Constellation 김*랑 완료 2021-03-08 3653
106316 True of False. 이*윤 완료 2021-03-08 4463
106315 My day. 안*아 완료 2021-03-08 7
106314 Teacher\'s Day 차*빈 완료 2021-03-08 3748

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]