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Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹®*Çö
2021-03-09 4475

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was young, I used to play chess with my friends. Most of the time, I played games as part of club activity. Initially, I started to play chess to make friends in school. I studied in New Zealand during elementary school. At first, I had a hard time getting along with others due to language barriers. Playing games made me be more open-minded and express my thought without constraint. Alongside this, I discovered the charm of playing chess, such as contemplating various options to win the match. I continued to be committed to chess because developing strategic tactics attracted me. Most of the time, I felt accomplishment from succeeding strategies. Above all, I have also learned the value of patience throughout the games. I had used to be very short-tempered before playing chess, but I learned to be in a relaxed in any circumstances.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Aciel. 

Cheers,
Jean~~
 


I used to play chess with my friends.
>> correct

 Most of the time, I played games as part of club activity.
>> Most of the time, I played games as part of club activities.

 Initially, I started to play chess to make friends in school. I studied in New Zealand during elementary school. At first, I had a hard time getting along with others due to language barriers. 
>> correct

Playing games made me be more open-minded and express my thought without constraint. 
>> Playing games made me more open-minded and helped me express my thoughts without constraint. 

Alongside this, I discovered the charm of playing chess, such as contemplating various options to win the match. I continued to be committed to chess because developing strategic tactics attracted me. 
>> correct

Most of the time, I felt accomplishment from succeeding strategies. 
>> Most of the time, I felt a sense of accomplishment from succeeding strategies. 

Above all, I have also learned the value of patience throughout the games.
>> correct

 I had used to be very short-tempered before playing chess, but I learned to be in a relaxed in any circumstances.
>> I used to be very short-tempered before I became interested in chess, but through this game, I learned how to be more relaxed or calm in any circumstances.
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