¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of growing up?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-09 4456

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think bullying is absolutely crime. Some children use their strength to bully the weak children. They bully someone just for the fun, It's an indelible wound to someone who gets hurt. In Korea, many famous people are now rumored to committed to school violence. I think school violence should be a crime, So Victims of school violence will disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I feel the same way. Victims of bullying get hurt no only physically but mentally as well. They should put a stop to this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think bullying is absolutely crime. 
>>CORRECT

Some children use their strength to bully the weak children. 
>> CORRECT

They bully someone just for the fun, It's an indelible wound to someone who gets hurt. 
>> They bully other people just for fun. It's causes deep wounds physically and mentally to the victim. 

In Korea, many famous people are now rumored to committed to school violence. 
>> In Korea, many famous people are rumored to do violence in school. 

I think school violence should be a crime, So Victims of school violence will disappear.
>> I think bullying should be a crime so that violence in school would be put into an end. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106652 what makes me happy gw* yoonah ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 2
106651 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3440
106650 What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 1
106649 What is the importance of having time with your family? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 0
106648 How can travelling be educational? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 0
106647 homework_21.03.16 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 1
106646 Write some sentences about Kim Yu Na, a famous international... ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3738
106645 If retake driving test regularly ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 5186
106644 3/17 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4596
106643 What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4860
106642 asking ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4409
106641 pep- talk °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4805
106640 Do you feel monday blue? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4073
106639 Chinese \'polar bear hotel\' opens to full bookings, criticim À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 1
106638 How fit and healthy are you? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3
106637 beneficial technology Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4365
106636 Wild life Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 5483
106635 Do you suffer from insomnia? Are you a light sleeper or a heavy... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 1
106634 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 5337
106633 friend ±Ç*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3689

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04