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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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Do you think food is enough every Korean?

작성자: 정*원
2021-03-11 4518

회원님의 영작문

I believe that it is hardly seen people suffering from famine in South Korea. Korea has a fertile land and get various products such as rice, flour, and corns. Also there are many beautiful orchards where many kind of fruits are grown. now, most Korean eat well and enjoy their healthy lives. However, Korea is water shortage country, and the climate has changed significantly higher and higher. If this climate warming is going on, Korea will be able to become a subtropical climate country. It will be possibly occurred a disaster like a flood of China. Flood caused destroying farmland and every facilities which people built up for producing foods and it take a very long time for recovering. Climate and water both are crucial factors for agriculture.
Conclusionally, Korea government should think about this seriously and take a specific policy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


It's great to see you here once again Young Won!

I never thought that water can be such a great problem in a country such as yours.
If it continues to be short, I wonder where can you find other sources more than what you have today.

Anyway, thanks for the explanation and discussion below. IELTS questions are similar to your discussion here, so a job well done! Keep it up.

See you soon.

-T. Donna =)

I believe that it is hardly seen people suffering from famine in South Korea.
>> I believe that it is hardly seen that people are suffering from famine in South Korea.

Korea has a fertile land and get various products such as rice, flour, and corns.
>> Correct!

Also there are many beautiful orchards where many kind of fruits are grown. now, most Korean eat well and enjoy their healthy lives.
>> Also there are many beautiful orchards where many kinds of fruits are grown. Now, most Koreans eat well and enjoy their healthy lives.

However, Korea is water shortage country, and the climate has changed significantly higher and higher.
>> However, Korea has water shortage as a country, and the climate has changed significantly higher and higher over the years.

If this climate warming is going on, Korea will be able to become a subtropical climate country. It will be possibly occurred a disaster like a flood of China.
>> If this climate or warming goes on, Korea will become a subtropical climate country. Possibly, disaster like a flood in China will occur.

Flood caused destroying farmland and every facilities which people built up for producing foods and it take a very long time for recovering.
>> Flood destroys farmland and every facility which people built for producing foods and it takes a very long time to recover.

Climate and water both are crucial factors for agriculture.
>> Correct!

Conclusionally, Korea government should think about this seriously and take a specific policy.
>> In conclusion, The Korean government should think about this seriously and take a specific policy.
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