¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in your house, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-03-11 5272

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things in the rest of room and make home gym. Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack which can work out various things. I can't work at all if someone is using rack. so I want to make own rack in my house. I think that's what people who loves working out want to do.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

if I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things in the rest of room and make home gym. 
>> If I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things and make the space into a home gym. 

Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack which can work out various things. 
>>Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack where can work out on various things. 

I can't work at all if someone is using rack. so I want to make own rack in my house. 
>> I can't work out is someone is using it so I want to have my own at my house. 

I think that's what people who loves working out want to do.
>> I think that's what people who loves working out wants to do. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106979 What do you like to do on the weekend? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-28 1682
106978 My favorite holiday ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-28 1
106977 White supremacy and hate are haunting Asian Americans À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-28 1
106976 By the end of the century, summer weather could last half a year... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-28 1
106975 What would you like to do if you don\'t have any schedule? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-28 2640
106974 Study without music(between angel and devil) ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-27 5
106973 Can you talk about three cities you would like to visit? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-27 4
106972 Homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-03-27 5
106971 Homework (250) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2811
106970 How important is dancing in your culture? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2127
106969 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1
106968 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 3699
106967 From my work Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2
106966 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 0
106965 Yes! I want to be a bird~ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2203
106964 Homework {03/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2298
106963 Why do people renovate their houses? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1
106962 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2563
106961 What is your favorite movie? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2783
106960 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 3077

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04