¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in your house, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-03-11 5280

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things in the rest of room and make home gym. Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack which can work out various things. I can't work at all if someone is using rack. so I want to make own rack in my house. I think that's what people who loves working out want to do.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

if I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things in the rest of room and make home gym. 
>> If I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things and make the space into a home gym. 

Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack which can work out various things. 
>>Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack where can work out on various things. 

I can't work at all if someone is using rack. so I want to make own rack in my house. 
>> I can't work out is someone is using it so I want to have my own at my house. 

I think that's what people who loves working out want to do.
>> I think that's what people who loves working out wants to do. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106147 Tears of joy. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4272
106146 Homework (232) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4650
106145 Which among the NCT groups do you like? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0
106144 What do you like to see in a drama? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0
106143 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3911
106142 My mom and dad ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4918
106141 The Most Common Fruits And Vegetables In My Country. ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106140 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106139 What\'s the best part about living in Korea? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3338
106138 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4733
106137 What\'s the best part about living in Korea? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0
106136 How did you start liking dogs? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2861
106135 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4058
106134 Growing kids need love, and protect. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3251
106133 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2
106132 In spring ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4223
106131 Experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3022
106130 Homework 3.2 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2481
106129 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2811
106128 What do you think of Google¡¯s idea to put all the world¡¯s... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04