¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in your house, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-03-11 5291

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things in the rest of room and make home gym. Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack which can work out various things. I can't work at all if someone is using rack. so I want to make own rack in my house. I think that's what people who loves working out want to do.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

if I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things in the rest of room and make home gym. 
>> If I can change something in my house, I want to remove a lot of things and make the space into a home gym. 

Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack which can work out various things. 
>>Actually, there's gym in the basement of the apartment but there's only one rack where can work out on various things. 

I can't work at all if someone is using rack. so I want to make own rack in my house. 
>> I can't work out is someone is using it so I want to have my own at my house. 

I think that's what people who loves working out want to do.
>> I think that's what people who loves working out wants to do. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106077 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3
106076 What are some of the best jobs you can think of? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106075 Is there anything you don\'t like about weekends and you wish... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3103
106074 Inventions that will make people¡¯s lives much easier ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3600
106073 My best trip in middle school ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3654
106072 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 4
106071 Trusting a person Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3492
106070 Email ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3
106069 Weenkends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 1
106068 My presentation2 ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 5
106067 My presentation1 ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 9
106066 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 3793
106065 HOMEWORK FOR 02.26 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 3288
106064 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 1
106063 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 3345
106062 HW Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 2725
106061 Homework (230) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 3700
106060 If I could meet any famous person, dead or alive. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 4530
106059 What do you think of trade wars? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 3132
106058 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 4663

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04