¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

2021.03.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿µ
2021-03-11 5584

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Question : Why did you apply to our company?

Answer :
I started learning golf after I quit my job.
Now, I'm interested in playing golf and golf companies, too.
I could see the bright future of golf industries.
Because, golf is getting popular among the young people who are in their 20s and 30s.
Above all, your company is the best golf brand in the world.
There must be certain reasons why your brand is number one in Korea.
I want to be a best person 'Sales Merchandiser' in golf industry.
And I sure that best way is enter to the best company.
That's why I applied here.
If I work in your compnay, I will contribute to achieve company's objective as a best worker.
Thank you.


I changed my answer.
I removed Youtube part and add another sentence which you suggest.
It looks much better and perfect becasue of your tips. :D
Thank you.
Have a good day and good night.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jun! I am sure you can do it! I can see that your answer has more emphasis on the company' achievement and your intention! It's a lot better! See you! -Faith-
Question : Why did you apply to our company?
>> CORRECT
Answer :
>> CORRECT
I started learning golf after I quit my job.
>> CORRECT
Now, I'm interested in playing golf and golf companies, too.
>> CORRECT
I could see the bright future of golf industries.
>> CORRECT
Because, golf is getting popular among the young people who are in their 20s and 30s.
>> CORRECT
Above all, your company is the best golf brand in the world.
>> CORRECT
There must be certain reasons why your brand is number one in Korea.
>> CORRECT
OR I know there are reasons why you are the best.
I want to be a best person 'Sales Merchandiser' in golf industry. 
And I sure that best way is enter to the best company.
>> So, since my dream is to be the best sales merchandiser in the golf industry, I am sure I can achieve it by working in the best company.
That's why I applied here.
>> CORRECT
If I work in your compnay, I will contribute to achieve company's objective as a best worker.
>> If you give me the chance to work for you, I will make a significant contribution to achieve the company's objective as one of your best workers.
Thank you.
>> CORRECT


I changed my answer.
>> CORRECT
I removed Youtube part and add another sentence which you suggest.
>> I removed the Youtube part and add another sentence which you suggested.
It looks much better and perfect becasue of your tips. :D
>> It looks much better and perfect because of your tips. :D
Thank you.
>> CORRECT
Have a good day and good night.
>> CORRECT
See you tomorrow.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107230 Sorry. I sent it a lot late. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 533
107229 When I retire Á¶*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 665
107228 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 568
107227 Sorry. I sent it a lot late. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 726
107226 My mom is special person in my life. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 533
107225 What is your favorite thing. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 562
107224 Why do people say laughter is the best medicine? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107223 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 483
107222 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 635
107221 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 624
107220 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 8
107219 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107218 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107217 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107216 Have verb Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 662
107215 What sport do you like watching? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 597
107214 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107213 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107212 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 517
107211 iron man Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 579

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04