¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

2021.03.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿µ
2021-03-11 5520

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Question : Why did you apply to our company?

Answer :
I started learning golf after I quit my job.
Now, I'm interested in playing golf and golf companies, too.
I could see the bright future of golf industries.
Because, golf is getting popular among the young people who are in their 20s and 30s.
Above all, your company is the best golf brand in the world.
There must be certain reasons why your brand is number one in Korea.
I want to be a best person 'Sales Merchandiser' in golf industry.
And I sure that best way is enter to the best company.
That's why I applied here.
If I work in your compnay, I will contribute to achieve company's objective as a best worker.
Thank you.


I changed my answer.
I removed Youtube part and add another sentence which you suggest.
It looks much better and perfect becasue of your tips. :D
Thank you.
Have a good day and good night.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jun! I am sure you can do it! I can see that your answer has more emphasis on the company' achievement and your intention! It's a lot better! See you! -Faith-
Question : Why did you apply to our company?
>> CORRECT
Answer :
>> CORRECT
I started learning golf after I quit my job.
>> CORRECT
Now, I'm interested in playing golf and golf companies, too.
>> CORRECT
I could see the bright future of golf industries.
>> CORRECT
Because, golf is getting popular among the young people who are in their 20s and 30s.
>> CORRECT
Above all, your company is the best golf brand in the world.
>> CORRECT
There must be certain reasons why your brand is number one in Korea.
>> CORRECT
OR I know there are reasons why you are the best.
I want to be a best person 'Sales Merchandiser' in golf industry. 
And I sure that best way is enter to the best company.
>> So, since my dream is to be the best sales merchandiser in the golf industry, I am sure I can achieve it by working in the best company.
That's why I applied here.
>> CORRECT
If I work in your compnay, I will contribute to achieve company's objective as a best worker.
>> If you give me the chance to work for you, I will make a significant contribution to achieve the company's objective as one of your best workers.
Thank you.
>> CORRECT


I changed my answer.
>> CORRECT
I removed Youtube part and add another sentence which you suggest.
>> I removed the Youtube part and add another sentence which you suggested.
It looks much better and perfect becasue of your tips. :D
>> It looks much better and perfect because of your tips. :D
Thank you.
>> CORRECT
Have a good day and good night.
>> CORRECT
See you tomorrow.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106429 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 1
106428 What are the benefits of having long-term friendships? °­*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 5017
106427 People can\'t live only by bread. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4943
106426 Homework (238) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 3886
106425 Do we need to be honest all the time? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 5154
106424 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4384
106423 What\'s the best pet for kids these days? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4647
106422 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 3
106421 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 5682
106420 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 3876
106419 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 3764
106418 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 0
106417 Fill in the banks with the correct answer. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4391
106416 Rules&Policies Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4276
106415 Homework (237) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 3798
106414 If I am a tortoise, mabye my life will be boring. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4259
106413 Homework0310 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 5500
106412 What do you enjoy doing on your break time? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4279
106411 Freelancer ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 3
106410 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 3366

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04