¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Travel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼³*Á¤
2021-03-15 4468

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures. Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should always check their budgets. They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students¡¯ education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Emily! That's true! Traveling is very educational and fun. Not only will you be enjoying, but you'll get to know a lot of new things too! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. 
>> As the society has become more globalized, more and more people are traveling.

Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 
>> Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 

I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. 
>> CORRECT

This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
>> This essay will describe several reasons why traveling is one of the best education methods.

First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures.
>> First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. They can also meet people and learn more about their history and culture. 

Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
>> Conversing with people about their different storied can broaden their horizons. 

Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should alwa
ys check their budgets. 
>> This can also let them learn how to manage their budget. Traveling sometimes costs a lot of money so it can let them learn how to spend it wisely. 

They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
>> This can be beneficial for their lives. 

In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students¡¯ education.
>> In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a beneficial role in a students¡¯ education.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107676 Do you believe that first impressions last? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 546
107675 About temperature! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 800
107674 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 698
107673 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107672 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 648
107671 My favorite TV program ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 6
107670 If you are talking with someone and you think they are lying, do... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 1
107669 What is your unforgettable transport experience? Share your... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107668 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107667 How do you take care of the things you own? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 769
107666 What do you usually do when you are facing a really big problem? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 7
107665 Create a sentence. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 1104
107664 I learned about this at my science class. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 803
107663 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 3
107662 Disobey Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 900
107661 Why Are You Leaving Your Current Job? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 2
107660 What do you love most about your country? Explain your answer. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 1
107659 What do you love most about your country? Explain your answer. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 566
107658 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 873
107657 If you can have a big birthday party, how do you want it to be... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 724

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04