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Travel

작성자: 설*정
2021-03-15 4448

회원님의 영작문

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures. Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should always check their budgets. They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students’ education.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Emily! That's true! Traveling is very educational and fun. Not only will you be enjoying, but you'll get to know a lot of new things too! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. 
>> As the society has become more globalized, more and more people are traveling.

Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 
>> Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 

I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. 
>> CORRECT

This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
>> This essay will describe several reasons why traveling is one of the best education methods.

First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures.
>> First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. They can also meet people and learn more about their history and culture. 

Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
>> Conversing with people about their different storied can broaden their horizons. 

Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should always check their budgets. 
>> This can also let them learn how to manage their budget. Traveling sometimes costs a lot of money so it can let them learn how to spend it wisely. 

They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
>> This can be beneficial for their lives. 

In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students’ education.
>> In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a beneficial role in a students’ education.

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