¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Travel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼³*Á¤
2021-03-15 4416

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures. Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should always check their budgets. They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students¡¯ education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Emily! That's true! Traveling is very educational and fun. Not only will you be enjoying, but you'll get to know a lot of new things too! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. 
>> As the society has become more globalized, more and more people are traveling.

Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 
>> Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 

I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. 
>> CORRECT

This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
>> This essay will describe several reasons why traveling is one of the best education methods.

First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures.
>> First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. They can also meet people and learn more about their history and culture. 

Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
>> Conversing with people about their different storied can broaden their horizons. 

Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should alwa
ys check their budgets. 
>> This can also let them learn how to manage their budget. Traveling sometimes costs a lot of money so it can let them learn how to spend it wisely. 

They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
>> This can be beneficial for their lives. 

In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students¡¯ education.
>> In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a beneficial role in a students¡¯ education.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106952 cover letter ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 4
106951 cover letter ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1
106950 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2
106949 How often do you wash your hands with soap? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1841
106948 Do you prefer baths or showers? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1855
106947 alternatives of zoos Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1610
106946 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1
106945 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2287
106944 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2
106943 Homework (249) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2952
106942 (HW) Why is English fluency significant for you? Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2076
106941 Should there be a limit on how many children a family can have? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 0
106940 What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2486
106939 In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2025
106938 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2
106937 In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2268
106936 Do you think violence is needed to discipline a child? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2417
106935 What is the importance of spending time with your family? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2
106934 The advantages and disadvantages of studyng abroad ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 1821
106933 What is learning? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 1634

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04