¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Travel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼³*Á¤
2021-03-15 4442

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures. Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should always check their budgets. They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students¡¯ education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Emily! That's true! Traveling is very educational and fun. Not only will you be enjoying, but you'll get to know a lot of new things too! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

As the society has become more globalised, more and more people are going on a travel. 
>> As the society has become more globalized, more and more people are traveling.

Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 
>> Some people think that traveling does not give any positive effect for education, while others argue that going on a trip might be educational for students. 

I strongly believe that travel helps children educationally. 
>> CORRECT

This essay will describe several reasons why travel is one of the best education methods.
>> This essay will describe several reasons why traveling is one of the best education methods.

First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. While travelling, children will meet diverse people, stheir backgrounds and also differnet cultures.
>> First, by travelling abroad, students can learn different cultures. They can also meet people and learn more about their history and culture. 

Communicating with people about their differnet stories will lead students to broad their horizons.
>> Conversing with people about their different storied can broaden their horizons. 

Second, travelling can lead students to manage their budget. Travelling a lot means that they should alwa
ys check their budgets. 
>> This can also let them learn how to manage their budget. Traveling sometimes costs a lot of money so it can let them learn how to spend it wisely. 

They can learn how to balance their budgets which is necessary skills for their lives.
>> This can be beneficial for their lives. 

In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a crucial role in students¡¯ education.
>> In conclusion, there are some reasons why travelling plays a beneficial role in a students¡¯ education.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106104 Seoul city supports flower farmers hit by COVID-19 slump À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106103 Less than half of Koreans willing to receive COVID-19 vaccine... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106102 The speaking test on 27th Feb. Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1684
106101 Write about your favorite amusement park. Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1559
106100 Hr Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1323
106099 Seoul City seeks to support older pet sitters À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106098 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1562
106097 [02/26]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2
106096 What is the best way to help people with disability? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 5271
106095 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 4336
106094 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106093 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106092 Where do you and tour friends usually go to? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3411
106091 Use the following words in your own sentence. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3509
106090 homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3617
106089 I think the most interesting topic on our next book is... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3235
106088 What are the advantages of traveling by airplane? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106087 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3170
106086 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3127
106085 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3814

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04