¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The ratio of poverty is increasing worldwide. What are the reasons for world poverty? What can be do

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-15 4218

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is deeply related with the capitalism and elitism that cause serious polarization. Most countries consider that democracy is the best system for human because people can be equal regardless race and have a chance to get education. However, this system has created a lot of social problem. We all know if we graduate the well-known university, our life will be successful. But we have to realize the difference of starting point. Children who are born with silver spoon would get the best education based on their wealth. On the other hands, children who are not rich might have problem to eat, so many people give up to study because they have to work for their family. The equality of chance seems like attractive but contain a lot of disadvantages. It sometime make people disappointed because if they fail to do something, it looks like it's because of their fault even though it's because of the structure problem. So, our society have to think about better system for us to solve it

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^  
The people who achieve incredible success in the world aren¡¯t always the most naturally brilliant but rather, are the hardest workers.
Encourage yourself to roll up your sleeves and put in the effort with empowering hard work.
¡°There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.¡±
Keep yourself on track. ~! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think it is deeply related with the capitalism and elitism that cause serious polarization. 
>>> I think it is deeply related to the capitalism and elitism that cause serious polarization. 
Most countries consider that democracy is the best system for human because people can be equal regardless race and have a chance to get education. 
>>> Most countries consider that democracy is the best system for human because people can be equal regardless of race and  a chance to get education. 
However, this system has created a lot of social problem. 
>>> However, this system has created a lot of social problems. 
We all know if we graduate the well-known university, our life will be successful. 
>>> We all know that if we graduate from a well-known university, our life will be successful. 
But we have to realize the difference of the starting point. 
>>> CORRECT
Children who are born with silver spoon would get the best education based on their wealth. 
>>> CORRECT
On the other hands, children who are not rich might have problem to eat, so many people give up to study because they have to work for their family.
>>> CORRECT
 The equality of chance seems like attractive but contains a lot of disadvantages.
>>> CORRECT
 It sometime make people disappointed because if they fail to do something, it looks like it's because of their fault even though it's because of the structure problem.
>>> CORRECT
 So, our society have to think about a better system for us to solve.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106338 [03/05]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 2
106337 writing. ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106336 writing ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106335 [03/03]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106334 Hospital impression ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4481
106333 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4794
106332 Does the media concentrate too much on \"bad news\" and not... °­*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4603
106331 Homework (236) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4976
106330 \"Dogs are man\'s best friend.\" What does this mean and do... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4346
106329 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3043
106328 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5150
106327 What do you feel when you are spending money? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4705
106326 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5024
106325 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106324 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5116
106323 What kind of problems do poor people have? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 2
106322 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5
106321 Work email draft - correction (3/3) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106320 Work email draft - correction (2) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106319 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04