¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The ratio of poverty is increasing worldwide. What are the reasons for world poverty? What can be do

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-15 4282

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is deeply related with the capitalism and elitism that cause serious polarization. Most countries consider that democracy is the best system for human because people can be equal regardless race and have a chance to get education. However, this system has created a lot of social problem. We all know if we graduate the well-known university, our life will be successful. But we have to realize the difference of starting point. Children who are born with silver spoon would get the best education based on their wealth. On the other hands, children who are not rich might have problem to eat, so many people give up to study because they have to work for their family. The equality of chance seems like attractive but contain a lot of disadvantages. It sometime make people disappointed because if they fail to do something, it looks like it's because of their fault even though it's because of the structure problem. So, our society have to think about better system for us to solve it

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^  
The people who achieve incredible success in the world aren¡¯t always the most naturally brilliant but rather, are the hardest workers.
Encourage yourself to roll up your sleeves and put in the effort with empowering hard work.
¡°There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.¡±
Keep yourself on track. ~! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think it is deeply related with the capitalism and elitism that cause serious polarization. 
>>> I think it is deeply related to the capitalism and elitism that cause serious polarization. 
Most countries consider that democracy is the best system for human because people can be equal regardless race and have a chance to get education. 
>>> Most countries consider that democracy is the best system for human because people can be equal regardless of race and  a chance to get education. 
However, this system has created a lot of social problem. 
>>> However, this system has created a lot of social problems. 
We all know if we graduate the well-known university, our life will be successful. 
>>> We all know that if we graduate from a well-known university, our life will be successful. 
But we have to realize the difference of the starting point. 
>>> CORRECT
Children who are born with silver spoon would get the best education based on their wealth. 
>>> CORRECT
On the other hands, children who are not rich might have problem to eat, so many people give up to study because they have to work for their family.
>>> CORRECT
 The equality of chance seems like attractive but contains a lot of disadvantages.
>>> CORRECT
 It sometime make people disappointed because if they fail to do something, it looks like it's because of their fault even though it's because of the structure problem.
>>> CORRECT
 So, our society have to think about a better system for us to solve.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105376 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 461
105375 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 345
105374 My favorite singer and the reason why I like her Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105373 English Homework 24 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 499
105372 HOMEWORK FOR 02.03 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 517
105371 Are you into cosmetics? What is your favorite brand and why? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105370 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105369 How do you keep the spark in your marriage aftrr a very long... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 469
105368 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 1030
105367 what are some ways we can help homeless people? Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 2
105366 Homework (217) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 387
105365 Thank you, teacher:) Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 466
105364 retirement age ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 455
105363 What are five things you like about your classroom? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 411
105362 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 426
105361 What country would be fun to work in? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 450
105360 Homework0203 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 503
105359 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 445
105358 The busiest city in my area Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 301
105357 essay , question Á¤*±³ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 525

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04