¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Music Therapy

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-03-15 3930

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many researches about effect of listening music. If you listen to music before taking a test, you can get a higher score than before. In my case, when I was depressed, I listened Rock Ballades. After listening the music, I felt better. I am not a person, Who does not like to listen to music. But, It works even me. So, I think, Music can be a therapy. As well as there are so many songs for couples who break up.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!


Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



There are many researches about effect of listening music. 
>>> There are much researches done about the effect of listening to music. 

If you listen to music before taking a test, you can get a higher score than before. 
>>> If you listen to music before taking a test, you can get a higher score than those people who don't. 

In my case, when I was depressed, I listened Rock Ballades. After listening the music, I felt better. 
>>> In my case, when I am depressed, I listen to rock ballades. After listening to the music, I felt better. 

I am not a person, Who does not like to listen to music. But, It works even me. 
>>> I am not a person who likes to listen to music that much but it works even for me. 

So, I think, Music can be a therapy. As well as there are so many songs for couples who break up. 
>>> So, I think, music can be a therapy. As well as there are so many songs for every kind of emotion such as when couples break up. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106392 Please review my composition. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 1
106391 On-line class ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 5738
106390 Do you think that organic food is much better than normal food... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4626
106389 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 4023
106388 Do we need to be honest all the time? Why or why not? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3
106387 [03/08]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 1
106386 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5835
106385 Do you smoke? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3970
106384 In 100years from now, how different do you think the natural... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4301
106383 Why do you think bullying is not good? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 0
106382 What was your greatest challenge in learning the English... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4154
106381 My opinion about bullying should be made a crime or is it part... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4271
106380 Why do companies advertise in your country? °­*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5350
106379 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5052
106378 What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4925
106377 How do you see yourself ten years from now? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3786
106376 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3874
106375 IT deveolpment and conflict ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4564
106374 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4208
106373 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5055

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04