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family time

작성자: 설*정
2021-03-16 4474

회원님의 영작문

As society has become more face-paced, many people cannot spend much more time with their family compared to the past. However, having time with family is important in various reasons. This essay will describe the importance of having time with family.
First, while spending time with family, children can build confidence and also learn a lot of knowledge from their parents. Children could learn the communication methods by experiencing specific skills such as problem solving. It might be the helpful basis before enter the real society.
Second, family time is crucial time that helps to create strong bonds and love. It will make children easier to share their inner voice and worries when going through difficult times.
In conclusion, there are various benefits of having time with family. Parents should try more to spend more time for their children.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Emily! Family time is very important indeed. Not only to children but to adults as well. It can be very beneficial in so many ways. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


As society has become more face-paced, many people cannot spend much more time with their family compared to the past. 
>>CORRECT

However, having time with family is important in various reasons. 
>>CORRECT

This essay will describe the importance of having time with family.
>>CORRECT

First, while spending time with family, children can build confidence and also learn a lot of knowledge from their parents. 
>>CORRECT

Children could learn the communication methods by experiencing specific skills such as problem solving. 
>>Children could learn communication methods by experiencing specific skills such as problem solving. 

It might be the helpful basis before enter the real society.
>> It might be the helpful for them before entering the real society. 

Second, family time is crucial time that helps to create strong bonds and love. 
>>>Second, family time is crucial because it helps create strong bonds. 

It will make children easier to share their inner voice and worries when going through difficult times.
>> CORRECT

In conclusion, there are various benefits of having time with family. 
>>In conclusion, there are various benefits in having time with family. 

Parents should try more to spend more time for their children.
>>CORRECT
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