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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented apartment rather than buying a home? Wha

작성자: 황*하
2021-03-16 4988

회원님의 영작문

Korea has a unique term to rent a house called "jeonse" which allow tenants to live for contract period if they pay large amount of money that is 50% to 80% of house price. The tenants don't need to pay monthly based rental fee but they have to pay utility fee such as usage of water, electricity and gas. The owner can deposit the money in the bank and get interests or they can invest it by the end of contracts.
The tenants also make money because they don't be asked to pay rental fee. This is good for both of them. However, the owner usually want to raise the rental when the contract ends according to the changes of house prices. So, some people had been suffering to get more money if tenants can't afford to pay additional rental, they have to move out another house. That's adverse effect that might cause tenants to move out every contract. This system is similar to a rented house. People who prefer to live there think that they are not afford to buy house currently, so they will save

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^  
The people who achieve incredible success in the world aren’t always the most naturally brilliant but rather, are the hardest workers.
Encourage yourself to roll up your sleeves and put in the effort with empowering hard work.
“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”
Keep yourself on track. ~! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Korea has a unique term to rent a house called "jeonse" which allow tenants to live for contract period if they pay large amount of money that is 50% to 80% of house price.
>>> Korea has a unique term of renting a house which is called "jeonse" which allow tenants to live within a contract period if they pay a high amount of money that is 50% to 80% of the house price.
 The tenants don't need to pay monthly based rental fee but they have to pay utility fee such as usage of water, electricity and gas.
>>>  The tenants don't need to pay in a monthly based rental fee but they have to pay the utility fee such as usage of water, electricity and gas.
The owner can deposit the money in the bank and get interests or they can invest it by the end of contracts.
>>> CORRECT
The tenants also make money because they don't be asked to pay rental fee. 
>>> The tenants also make money because they aren't asked to pay rental fees. 
This is good for both of them. 
>>> CORRECT
However, the owner usually want to raise the rentals when the contract ends according to the changes of house prices. 
>>> CORRECT
So, some people had been suffering to get more money if tenants can't afford to pay additional rentals, they have to move out another house. 
>>> CORRECT
That's the adverse effect that might cause tenants to move out every contract. 
>>> CORRECT
This system is similar to a rented house.
>>> CORRECT
 People who prefer to live there think that they are not afford to buy house currently, so they will save
>>>  People who prefer to live there think that they cannot afford to buy a house currently, so they will save...
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03
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