¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the importance of having time with your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-16 4198

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better , As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I agree with you. Nothing gives us more comfort than spending time with our family. We usually underestimate it but it's actually a very therapeutical thing to do. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. 
>> It is important to spend time with family because it comforts us especially by talking about things we haven't talked about before. 

I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. 
>> I usually don't have spare time, that's why I don't talk with my family that much. 

Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .
>>Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on trips  together .

If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better ,
>> If I'm more active with my family, we usually watch, talk and eat together which makes me feel better. 

As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105371 Are you into cosmetics? What is your favorite brand and why? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105370 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105369 How do you keep the spark in your marriage aftrr a very long... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 466
105368 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 1018
105367 what are some ways we can help homeless people? Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 2
105366 Homework (217) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 385
105365 Thank you, teacher:) Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 458
105364 retirement age ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 450
105363 What are five things you like about your classroom? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 406
105362 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 424
105361 What country would be fun to work in? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 441
105360 Homework0203 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 496
105359 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 440
105358 The busiest city in my area Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 290
105357 essay , question Á¤*±³ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 517
105356 Last class homework ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 415
105355 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105354 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 407
105353 Wish vs. Hope ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 261
105352 Social distancing rules could be revised before Lunar New Year:... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04