¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-16 3827

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is the importance of having time with your family?
-> It is very important to having time with my family.
Family, is a special group and it effects to our life.
And we are living because of each parents, so we have to thanks to our parents.
Also we have to help my family because family is a special group.
So we have to have times with our family.
I think it is very very important to having time with my family.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! I agree with you. Nothing gives us more comfort than spending time with our family. We usually underestimate it but it's actually a very therapeutic thing to do. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

It is very important to having time with my family.
>> It is very important to have time with family.

Family, is a special group and it effects to our life.
>> Our family is a special group that affects us in our lives. 

And we are living because of each parents, so we have to thanks to our parents
>> We exist because of our parents and we have to give thanks. 

Also we have to help my family because family is a special group.
>> We also need to help them. 

So we have to have times with our family.
>> That's why we need to spend some time with them. 

I think it is very very important to having time with my family.
>> I think it is very important to have some quality time with family. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106498 Physical appearance ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4181
106497 Why is English fluency significant for you? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4593
106496 2021.03.12 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3526
106495 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3717
106494 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4506
106493 Write about your ideal spring vacation ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5782
106492 The importance of salary in choosing a job °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4853
106491 At least 97 women killed by husbands, boyfirends last year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 0
106490 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 1
106489 Describe a risk you have taken which had a positive result ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4510
106488 Why are some sports expensive? Are they for everyone? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4452
106487 My diary ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4771
106486 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5052
106485 Something that I want to change about my house ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5492
106484 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4993
106483 Why do people need friends? What can happen if a person has no... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4
106482 [03/10]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106481 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 7
106480 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106479 Why do people use SNS? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4841

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04