¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most boring job.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-03-16 3090

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

After doing military service, I could get a part-time job. At that time, my mother had worked a factory, she introduced me to the factory.
The factory has been producing some parts of car's Air conditioner. While I worked at the factory, I removed particles from a part what was cut by a machine for 8 hours every week days. It was so boring, I couldn't stand especially last time of every day. That period was winter season, while I was working I fired gas heater. After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze one more, You
fire." I couldn't doze anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't my job. I have to study hard to get my ideal job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!


Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


After doing military service, I could get a part-time job. 
>>> After doing military service, I want to get a part-time job. 

At that time, my mother had worked a factory, she introduced me to the factory.
>>> At that time, my mother had worked in a factory, so she recommended me to work in the factory.

The factory has been producing some parts of car's Air conditioner. 
>>> The factory has been producing some parts of cars' air conditioner. 

While I worked at the factory, I removed particles from a part what was cut by a machine for 8 hours every week days. 
>>> My main job in the factory is to remove particles from a part that was cut by a machine for 8 hours every weekday. 

It was so boring, I couldn't stand especially last time of every day.
>>> It was so boring that I couldn't stand especially the last time of every day. 

That period was winter season, while I was working I fired gas heater. 
>>> That period was the winter season, while I was working I accidentally fired a gas heater. 

After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze one more, You fire." 
>>> After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze off one more, you fire." 

I couldn't doze anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't my job. 
>>> I couldn't afford to doze off anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't the job for me. 

I have to study hard to get my ideal job.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106156 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 4395
106155 How many pairs of shoes do you have? How many does a person need? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 4040
106154 talk about a time you failed at something you tried. Don¡¯t talk... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 1
106153 What do you look forward to in the Seollal holidays? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106152 Do you think imported goods are better quality than... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0
106151 If you see a person trying to get some snacks in the supermarket... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0
106150 HOMEWORK FOR 03.02 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3867
106149 What do we mean by conversation protocols? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3627
106148 homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 8
106147 Tears of joy. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4274
106146 Homework (232) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4653
106145 Which among the NCT groups do you like? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0
106144 What do you like to see in a drama? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0
106143 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3915
106142 My mom and dad ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4919
106141 The Most Common Fruits And Vegetables In My Country. ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106140 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106139 What\'s the best part about living in Korea? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3347
106138 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4737
106137 What\'s the best part about living in Korea? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04