¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most boring job.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-03-16 3113

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

After doing military service, I could get a part-time job. At that time, my mother had worked a factory, she introduced me to the factory.
The factory has been producing some parts of car's Air conditioner. While I worked at the factory, I removed particles from a part what was cut by a machine for 8 hours every week days. It was so boring, I couldn't stand especially last time of every day. That period was winter season, while I was working I fired gas heater. After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze one more, You
fire." I couldn't doze anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't my job. I have to study hard to get my ideal job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!


Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


After doing military service, I could get a part-time job. 
>>> After doing military service, I want to get a part-time job. 

At that time, my mother had worked a factory, she introduced me to the factory.
>>> At that time, my mother had worked in a factory, so she recommended me to work in the factory.

The factory has been producing some parts of car's Air conditioner. 
>>> The factory has been producing some parts of cars' air conditioner. 

While I worked at the factory, I removed particles from a part what was cut by a machine for 8 hours every week days. 
>>> My main job in the factory is to remove particles from a part that was cut by a machine for 8 hours every weekday. 

It was so boring, I couldn't stand especially last time of every day.
>>> It was so boring that I couldn't stand especially the last time of every day. 

That period was winter season, while I was working I fired gas heater. 
>>> That period was the winter season, while I was working I accidentally fired a gas heater. 

After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze one more, You fire." 
>>> After lunch, I dozed off. One day a manager said to me, "If you doze off one more, you fire." 

I couldn't doze anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't my job. 
>>> I couldn't afford to doze off anymore. While I was working at the factory, I realized that it isn't the job for me. 

I have to study hard to get my ideal job.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105705 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105704 The things I expect for this new year ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 837
105703 What do you get from watching movies/dramas? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 0
105702 Do you agree that video games should be prohibited to teenagers? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 0
105701 Homework (224) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 873
105700 Noun FRUIT and adjective FRUTY ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 808
105699 What makes someone beautiful? Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105698 About self-esteem ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 835
105697 Better learning ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 995
105696 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 821
105695 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 838
105694 There is a lot of importance of rocks. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 984
105693 In my country ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 2
105692 Do you believe in miracles? What miracles happen around you... ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 849
105691 What do you think is the reason why the students weren\'t... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105690 Would you like to be famous? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105689 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 854
105688 If you had one wish at this point in time, what would it be?... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105687 What are the things you expect for this new year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 0
105686 heard to getting older Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04