¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-17 3166

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated?
-> If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! The quality of live overall would be affected if overpopulations is present. That's why the government should take notice of the inflation of population in their country. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
>> If my country, Korea, is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages.

First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
>> First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because there are a lot of citizens.

Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
>>Lots of producers and consumers will exchange goods and services.

But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
>> Although,, there are also disadvantages such as traffic jam and increase in house prices. 

There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
>> This would be the effect of over population. 

That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.
>> This explains my answer.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107835 How would you describe a healthy diet? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 690
107834 Do you believe in life after death? Why or Why not? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 635
107833 I want to know hes name. Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 713
107832 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 653
107831 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 600
107830 What do you think is the most important machine in your life? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 2
107829 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1
107828 Greetings Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 585
107827 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 660
107826 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 0
107825 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 4
107824 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1
107823 Why is it important to learn the English language? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 636
107822 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 801
107821 homework ¾È*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 799
107820 Do you like being the age at which you now are? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1767
107819 What were your best and worst trips? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 569
107818 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 696
107817 About household chores ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 818
107816 \"Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 675

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04