¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-17 3085

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated?
-> If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! The quality of live overall would be affected if overpopulations is present. That's why the government should take notice of the inflation of population in their country. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
>> If my country, Korea, is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages.

First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
>> First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because there are a lot of citizens.

Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
>>Lots of producers and consumers will exchange goods and services.

But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
>> Although,, there are also disadvantages such as traffic jam and increase in house prices. 

There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
>> This would be the effect of over population. 

That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.
>> This explains my answer.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107036 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1
107035 If you could be born in another country, which one would you... Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1
107034 homework_21.03.25 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 2
107033 Are there any hobbies you can do in other countries, but not... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1321
107032 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1796
107031 hello Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 2
107030 today class was so funny! Áö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 2721
107029 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107028 If you could be born in another country, which one would you... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 2400
107027 I\'m worried. Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 2169
107026 the things that I leaned this year. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 1715
107025 Homework (251) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 1389
107024 Samsung Pays Highest Salaries in Korea À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 0
107023 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 0
107022 What do think are the reasons people dance? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 2165
107021 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 1
107020 I want to be a humble person. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 1543
107019 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 2538
107018 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 0
107017 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04