¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-17 3071

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated?
-> If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! The quality of live overall would be affected if overpopulations is present. That's why the government should take notice of the inflation of population in their country. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
>> If my country, Korea, is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages.

First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
>> First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because there are a lot of citizens.

Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
>>Lots of producers and consumers will exchange goods and services.

But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
>> Although,, there are also disadvantages such as traffic jam and increase in house prices. 

There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
>> This would be the effect of over population. 

That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.
>> This explains my answer.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106832 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 5
106831 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2193
106830 If you would climb a mountain, which mountain would it be and... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2380
106829 What are the advantages and disadvantages of online school? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106828 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 15
106827 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106826 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106825 My call time Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2605
106824 Happy answer. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3778
106823 : What was your best experience of acceptance? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106822 Message again power patricia use to make sentences Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3411
106821 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4609
106820 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106819 Is social skills also an important ability at work? Why so? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4841
106818 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106817 SKIP ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106816 Advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4494
106815 Cambridge ielts writing Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4308
106814 😊 º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106813 In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3616

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04