¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-17 3126

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated?
-> If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! The quality of live overall would be affected if overpopulations is present. That's why the government should take notice of the inflation of population in their country. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
>> If my country, Korea, is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages.

First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
>> First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because there are a lot of citizens.

Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
>>Lots of producers and consumers will exchange goods and services.

But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
>> Although,, there are also disadvantages such as traffic jam and increase in house prices. 

There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
>> This would be the effect of over population. 

That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.
>> This explains my answer.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105973 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1407
105972 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1361
105971 My favorite famous painting is Vincent van Gogh\'s Starry night. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1548
105970 The way of reducing waste materials Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1279
105969 homework ÀÌ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1486
105968 Buying less mask Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1439
105967 What are your hobbies? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 2
105966 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 0
105965 If you will move in to a new place, where would it be and why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1432
105964 How would you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1437
105963 The 2nd quarantine life_2 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 3
105962 The 2nd quarantine life_1 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 4
105961 homework_21.02.23 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105960 Time Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1282
105959 My pet dogs. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 2
105958 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1416
105957 What food makes you feel at home and why is it special? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105956 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1468
105955 Penalty ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1466
105954 About Yesan ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1667

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04