¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-17 3134

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated?
-> If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! The quality of live overall would be affected if overpopulations is present. That's why the government should take notice of the inflation of population in their country. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If my country, Korea is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages, and disadvantages.
>> If my country, Korea, is overpopulated, there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages.

First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because of lots of citizens in Korea.
>> First, the economy of Korea will be very strong because there are a lot of citizens.

Lots of producers and consumers will exchange the goods and services, and then the Korea economy will be strong.
>>Lots of producers and consumers will exchange goods and services.

But there is lots of disadvantages such as traffic jam and house prices rising.
>> Although,, there are also disadvantages such as traffic jam and increase in house prices. 

There will be lots of traffic jams, and the house prices will rise because of overpopulated.
>> This would be the effect of over population. 

That's why I thought there will be lots of advantages and disadvantages if Korea is overpopulated.
>> This explains my answer.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105941 Homework (227) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1019
105940 The part of my childhood that I remember the most ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1073
105939 Reason for study hard ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1096
105938 Part2 - The article divided into two parts because of word\'s... Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1124
105937 Part1 - The article divided into two parts because of word\'s... Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1078
105936 A tragic accident ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 981
105935 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1057
105934 What do you think is the most important thing when dealing with... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1192
105933 If you could change anything about your country, what would you... ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1304
105932 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1093
105931 [2/19]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105930 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105929 2 situations that make me angry °û*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1186
105928 LIVE and LEAVE. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1005
105927 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105926 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1127
105925 What is your best personality trait? Give at least three... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1013
105924 What healthy food is your favorite? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1723
105923 I have been a halloween party when I was in Florida. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1174
105922 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04