¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, whereas others prefer hobbies that do not requir

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-18 3352

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time. I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine. Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has a plenty of benefits. Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit. Second, it help us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression. Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is untact based meeting. Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies. It definitely help to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise. However, we can do any activities without technologies. These devices can't be essential for our live but It can boast our convenience. In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with techno

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for the discussion today! Have a great weekend!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time. 
>>> CORRECT
I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine. 
>>> CORRECT
Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has plenty of benefits. 
>>> CORRECT
Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit.
>>> CORRECT
Second, it helps us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression.
>>> CORRECT
 Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is unfact based meeting.
>>> CORRECT
 Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies.
>>> CORRECT
It definitely helps to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise.
>>> CORRECT
 However, we can do any activities without technologies. 
>>> CORRECT
These devices can't be essential for our live but it can boast our convenience. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with technology.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106898 Favorite question? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2491
106897 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3779
106896 Homework (248) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3055
106895 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2428
106894 interview question ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106893 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2364
106892 What do you think is the best performing art (music, dance, and... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3170
106891 My Doenjang stew. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3
106890 [03/23]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2
106889 What did you enjoy most when you were growing?? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2561
106888 What was your greatest changes in your life? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3218
106887 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2
106886 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2720
106885 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106884 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106883 homework. °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106882 My favorite food ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3369
106881 Lessons Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2934
106880 Yes! Of course!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3188
106879 What is your hometown famous for? And why is it famous? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2306

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04