¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, whereas others prefer hobbies that do not requir

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-18 3358

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time. I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine. Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has a plenty of benefits. Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit. Second, it help us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression. Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is untact based meeting. Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies. It definitely help to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise. However, we can do any activities without technologies. These devices can't be essential for our live but It can boast our convenience. In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with techno

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for the discussion today! Have a great weekend!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time. 
>>> CORRECT
I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine. 
>>> CORRECT
Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has plenty of benefits. 
>>> CORRECT
Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit.
>>> CORRECT
Second, it helps us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression.
>>> CORRECT
 Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is unfact based meeting.
>>> CORRECT
 Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies.
>>> CORRECT
It definitely helps to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise.
>>> CORRECT
 However, we can do any activities without technologies. 
>>> CORRECT
These devices can't be essential for our live but it can boast our convenience. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with technology.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106552 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 0
106551 No I don\'t believe in magic. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4694
106550 My favorite superherol ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4318
106549 homework ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3
106548 What has been the best amusement park you have ever visited? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106547 Homework {03/15} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4760
106546 Do you want to live with best friend? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5403
106545 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4683
106544 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4170
106543 My brithday celebration. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2
106542 The ratio of poverty is increasing worldwide. What are the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4187
106541 Why do so many people like sports? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5203
106540 What is or was the happiest time of your life? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106539 Do you think people are too dependent on our smartphones? Why or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 0
106538 If something is annoying you, what do you usually do? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106537 Homework ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2
106536 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106535 Travel ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4390
106534 homework_21.03.11 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3
106533 What do you borrow from your friends? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5149

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04