¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What historical place do you know well?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-19 3768

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea had a lot of invasions from other countries. Japan colonized Korea and raped everything such as people, resources, and cultures between 1910 year and 1945 year. After independence from Japan, there was a war between communism came from Soviet and Democracy came from America. The war named Korean War. It happened on June, 25th, 1950 and finished on July, 27th, 1953. Due to Korean War, Korea was separated to North Korea and South Korea. In the middle of Korea land, there is a specific belt called DMZ which is demilitarized zone. From there 2 km to the north and 2 km to the south, both side of communism and democracy promised that there wouldn't troops for the armistice. Families also was divided. They couldn't across the the area to see their relatives. DMZ is the saddest historical place in the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Young Won!

This composition is very informative and well-written! Thanks for this answer. See you on our two-part class in a while.

-T. Donna =)

Korea had a lot of invasions from other countries. 
>> Correct!
Or if you mean: Korea had a lot of invasions from other countries. 

Japan colonized Korea and raped everything such as people, resources, and cultures between 1910 year and 1945 year. 
>> Correct!

After independence from Japan, there was a war between communism came from Soviet and Democracy came from America. 
>> After independence from Japan, there was a war between communism that came from the Soviet Union and Democracy came from America. 

The war named Korean War. It happened on June, 25th, 1950 and finished on July, 27th, 1953. 
>> The war named Korean War happened on June 25th, 1950 and finished on July 27th, 1953. 

Due to Korean War, Korea was separated to North Korea and South Korea. In the middle of Korea land, there is a specific belt called DMZ which is demilitarized zone. 
>> Due to the Korean War, Korea was separated to North Korea and South Korea. In the middle of the Korea land, there is a specific belt called DMZ which is a demilitarized zone. 

From there 2 km to the north and 2 km to the south, both side of communism and democracy promised that there wouldn't troops for the armistice. 
>> From there, 2 kilometers to the north and 2 kilometers to the south, both sides of communism and democracy promised that there wouldn't troops for armistice. 

Families also was divided. 
>> Families were also divided.

They couldn't across the the area to see their relatives. DMZ is the saddest historical place in the world.
>> They couldn't cross the the area to see their relatives. DMZ is the saddest historical place in the world.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106338 [03/05]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 2
106337 writing. ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106336 writing ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106335 [03/03]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106334 Hospital impression ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4480
106333 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4794
106332 Does the media concentrate too much on \"bad news\" and not... °­*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4601
106331 Homework (236) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4976
106330 \"Dogs are man\'s best friend.\" What does this mean and do... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4346
106329 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3043
106328 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5150
106327 What do you feel when you are spending money? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4705
106326 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5023
106325 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106324 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5116
106323 What kind of problems do poor people have? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 2
106322 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5
106321 Work email draft - correction (3/3) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106320 Work email draft - correction (2) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106319 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04