¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What historical place do you know well?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-19 3820

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea had a lot of invasions from other countries. Japan colonized Korea and raped everything such as people, resources, and cultures between 1910 year and 1945 year. After independence from Japan, there was a war between communism came from Soviet and Democracy came from America. The war named Korean War. It happened on June, 25th, 1950 and finished on July, 27th, 1953. Due to Korean War, Korea was separated to North Korea and South Korea. In the middle of Korea land, there is a specific belt called DMZ which is demilitarized zone. From there 2 km to the north and 2 km to the south, both side of communism and democracy promised that there wouldn't troops for the armistice. Families also was divided. They couldn't across the the area to see their relatives. DMZ is the saddest historical place in the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Young Won!

This composition is very informative and well-written! Thanks for this answer. See you on our two-part class in a while.

-T. Donna =)

Korea had a lot of invasions from other countries. 
>> Correct!
Or if you mean: Korea had a lot of invasions from other countries. 

Japan colonized Korea and raped everything such as people, resources, and cultures between 1910 year and 1945 year. 
>> Correct!

After independence from Japan, there was a war between communism came from Soviet and Democracy came from America. 
>> After independence from Japan, there was a war between communism that came from the Soviet Union and Democracy came from America. 

The war named Korean War. It happened on June, 25th, 1950 and finished on July, 27th, 1953. 
>> The war named Korean War happened on June 25th, 1950 and finished on July 27th, 1953. 

Due to Korean War, Korea was separated to North Korea and South Korea. In the middle of Korea land, there is a specific belt called DMZ which is demilitarized zone. 
>> Due to the Korean War, Korea was separated to North Korea and South Korea. In the middle of the Korea land, there is a specific belt called DMZ which is a demilitarized zone. 

From there 2 km to the north and 2 km to the south, both side of communism and democracy promised that there wouldn't troops for the armistice. 
>> From there, 2 kilometers to the north and 2 kilometers to the south, both sides of communism and democracy promised that there wouldn't troops for armistice. 

Families also was divided. 
>> Families were also divided.

They couldn't across the the area to see their relatives. DMZ is the saddest historical place in the world.
>> They couldn't cross the the area to see their relatives. DMZ is the saddest historical place in the world.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105806 What do you say first when you answer a call? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1141
105805 Baseball instead of Basketball °û*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1212
105804 homework0219 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 948
105803 ENGLISH HOMEWORK 29 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1198
105802 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1044
105801 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 8
105800 Who would I go travel with ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105799 How many cars would you like to have? Why ? ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1018
105798 If you can control the time of your sleep, would you rather... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 933
105797 The thing that¡¯s not yet existing but I want to be invented ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1030
105796 HOMEWORK FOR 02.18 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1032
105795 Who do you think is/was the greatest man in Korea? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 0
105794 What is a \'healing game\'? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 0
105793 if I were a lyricist... ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 754
105792 Breaking a bad vice ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1047
105791 Abandoned a job field that I was in over 10 years À±*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1032
105790 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 918
105789 The reason people is addicted SNS ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1244
105788 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1688
105787 What is the first thing you notice about a person? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1030

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04