¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the biggest change this world needs?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-21 3776

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sarah! This is actually true. Technology evolves day by day. As generations changes, it adapts to it very quicly. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. 
>>CORRECT

Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. 
>>As time progresses, technology develops.  People's lives seem to be more convenient and we demand more advanced technology. 

In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106473 I want to have two rooms. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106472 The history of a country is our existence and foundation. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4294
106471 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106470 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106469 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106468 If you can change something in your house, what would it be and... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5251
106467 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5106
106466 In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106465 What is your favorite weather? why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4223
106464 Do you think food is enough every Korean? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4496
106463 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4927
106462 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4447
106461 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4695
106460 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4374
106459 If you were born again,would you like to br a dog or cat. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4055
106458 If you are going to save up some money for something, what would... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5
106457 Yes, I afraid of the great white shark. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5257
106456 question ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4025
106455 What are the three most important things for you to be happy? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5
106454 What do you want to do in your life? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04