¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the biggest change this world needs?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-21 3808

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sarah! This is actually true. Technology evolves day by day. As generations changes, it adapts to it very quicly. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. 
>>CORRECT

Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. 
>>As time progresses, technology develops.  People's lives seem to be more convenient and we demand more advanced technology. 

In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106136 How did you start liking dogs? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2868
106135 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4069
106134 Growing kids need love, and protect. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3255
106133 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2
106132 In spring ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4232
106131 Experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3027
106130 Homework 3.2 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2481
106129 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2822
106128 What do you think of Google¡¯s idea to put all the world¡¯s... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106127 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3241
106126 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3596
106125 Homework0302 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3467
106124 HOMEWORK Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106123 Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3628
106122 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106121 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3828
106120 Woman nabbed for posting flyers containing misinformation on... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106119 DIRECTIONS: Use the words in a sentence. ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106118 Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2745
106117 Does violence in movies and on television inspire violence in... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4108

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04