¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the biggest change this world needs?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-21 3823

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sarah! This is actually true. Technology evolves day by day. As generations changes, it adapts to it very quicly. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. 
>>CORRECT

Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. 
>>As time progresses, technology develops.  People's lives seem to be more convenient and we demand more advanced technology. 

In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106030 The reason why it does matter to me when people ask my age Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2
106029 Do you think aliens exist? Why? ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1405
106028 WRT ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3
106027 To protect ourselves from being a victim of a crime. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1310
106026 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4
106025 What do you think is the animal that they shouldn\'t use for... ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 0
106024 WRT ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4
106023 Everything has ambivalence. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3376
106022 Homework (229) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3684
106021 Are there days when you just enjoy having a good cry for no... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4123
106020 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2699
106019 Why do we need clothes? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3339
106018 Homework0225 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3168
106017 What was the last tragic? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106016 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3541
106015 Correct answer. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3685
106014 Is having a convenience store near your house good? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4141
106013 Which one is better, having three eyes or justone eye? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3987
106012 We need clocks because of a comfortable life. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 5602
106011 What`s the most memorable vacation you`ve had? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04