¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the biggest change this world needs?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-21 3856

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sarah! This is actually true. Technology evolves day by day. As generations changes, it adapts to it very quicly. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Perhaps the biggest change is the development of technology. 
>>CORRECT

Times progress and technology develop, people's lives seem to be more convenient and want a higher level of technology. 
>>As time progresses, technology develops.  People's lives seem to be more convenient and we demand more advanced technology. 

In addition, the power of technology is the standard for determining the national power of the country in the future.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105971 My favorite famous painting is Vincent van Gogh\'s Starry night. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1600
105970 The way of reducing waste materials Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1331
105969 homework ÀÌ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1554
105968 Buying less mask Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1495
105967 What are your hobbies? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 2
105966 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 0
105965 If you will move in to a new place, where would it be and why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1503
105964 How would you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1483
105963 The 2nd quarantine life_2 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 3
105962 The 2nd quarantine life_1 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 4
105961 homework_21.02.23 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105960 Time Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1306
105959 My pet dogs. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 2
105958 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1466
105957 What food makes you feel at home and why is it special? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105956 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1509
105955 Penalty ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1504
105954 About Yesan ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1703
105953 HOMEWORK FOR 02.24 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1548
105952 About the pain of sickness Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1357

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04