¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can you tell a brief history of your hometown?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-21 3571

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hometown which is Damyang is famous for beautiful scenes of bamboo trees, peaceful farms, and malleable people. Thus many literary men were born in Damyang. Most poets used to discuss about political issues and share their opinion about their works.
There was a kind of school called SoSHeWon where was built in 1530 year in Joseon Dynasty. The walls are decorated with gorgeous hand writings by the greatest literary men who lived in that time. One of them, JungCheul who was an ancestor of my family cultivated many clever juniors at Soshewon from 1551 to 1561. It is still exist for visitors who want to feel the ancestor's emotions.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Sunday to you Young Won!

It seems that you had an extensive research about your hometown to find out these details to place here on your composition. In many countries, one's roots is very important as it is where you trace your origin, culture, and tradition.

Now, you can tell these to your children for them to pass to their children too someday.

These details are more than enough for an IELTS answer. Thank you for always doing your best Yong Won.

See you tomorrow in class. Have a great night!

-T. Donna =)

My hometown which is Damyang is famous for beautiful scenes of bamboo trees, peaceful farms, and malleable people. 
>> Correct!

Thus many literary men were born in Damyang. 
>> Correct!

Most poets used to discuss about political issues and share their opinion about their works.
>> Correct!

There was a kind of school called SoSHeWon where was built in 1530 year in Joseon Dynasty. 
>> There is a kind of school called SoSHeWon that was built in the year 1530 in Joseon Dynasty. 

The walls are decorated with gorgeous hand writings by the greatest literary men who lived in that time. 
>> Correct!

One of them, JungCheul who was an ancestor of my family cultivated many clever juniors at Soshewon from 1551 to 1561. 
>> Correct!

It is still exist for visitors who want to feel the ancestor's emotions.
>> Correct!
Or: exists
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107885 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 693
107884 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 3
107883 South Korea to invest W114 tr by 2030 to expand railway network À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 1
107882 Are the drivers in your area where you live good drivers? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 679
107881 What are the pros and cons of living in the capital city? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 736
107880 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 1
107879 What do you want to here most from a friend who is closing a... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 902
107878 What is the most beautiful country in the world? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 764
107877 I would like to visit Canada ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 3
107876 Report(4) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 834
107875 Report(3) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 666
107874 Report ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 809
107873 Report(1) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 599
107872 Do you ever wish you could go back in time and be a little kid... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 663
107871 After 10 years of my life ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 2
107870 Home work(4.23) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 953
107869 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 2
107868 Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 705
107867 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 3
107866 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04