¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can you tell a brief history of your hometown?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-21 3524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hometown which is Damyang is famous for beautiful scenes of bamboo trees, peaceful farms, and malleable people. Thus many literary men were born in Damyang. Most poets used to discuss about political issues and share their opinion about their works.
There was a kind of school called SoSHeWon where was built in 1530 year in Joseon Dynasty. The walls are decorated with gorgeous hand writings by the greatest literary men who lived in that time. One of them, JungCheul who was an ancestor of my family cultivated many clever juniors at Soshewon from 1551 to 1561. It is still exist for visitors who want to feel the ancestor's emotions.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Sunday to you Young Won!

It seems that you had an extensive research about your hometown to find out these details to place here on your composition. In many countries, one's roots is very important as it is where you trace your origin, culture, and tradition.

Now, you can tell these to your children for them to pass to their children too someday.

These details are more than enough for an IELTS answer. Thank you for always doing your best Yong Won.

See you tomorrow in class. Have a great night!

-T. Donna =)

My hometown which is Damyang is famous for beautiful scenes of bamboo trees, peaceful farms, and malleable people. 
>> Correct!

Thus many literary men were born in Damyang. 
>> Correct!

Most poets used to discuss about political issues and share their opinion about their works.
>> Correct!

There was a kind of school called SoSHeWon where was built in 1530 year in Joseon Dynasty. 
>> There is a kind of school called SoSHeWon that was built in the year 1530 in Joseon Dynasty. 

The walls are decorated with gorgeous hand writings by the greatest literary men who lived in that time. 
>> Correct!

One of them, JungCheul who was an ancestor of my family cultivated many clever juniors at Soshewon from 1551 to 1561. 
>> Correct!

It is still exist for visitors who want to feel the ancestor's emotions.
>> Correct!
Or: exists
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107320 Have or has Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 678
107319 What would you change about your life if you could? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107318 What are the personality and physical differences between you... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107317 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 582
107316 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 723
107315 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107314 What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 796
107313 If you are going to make a movie, what story would you like to... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 586
107312 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 520
107311 Homwork ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 9
107310 What is the biggest change this world needs? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107309 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107308 What is your favorite TV program? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1143
107307 If you\'ll get a chance to join a contest, what contest would it... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 775
107306 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 2
107305 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107304 going school Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 682
107303 Have Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 584
107302 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 579
107301 Does your happiness change during different times of the day,... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04