¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can you tell a brief history of your hometown?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-21 3552

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hometown which is Damyang is famous for beautiful scenes of bamboo trees, peaceful farms, and malleable people. Thus many literary men were born in Damyang. Most poets used to discuss about political issues and share their opinion about their works.
There was a kind of school called SoSHeWon where was built in 1530 year in Joseon Dynasty. The walls are decorated with gorgeous hand writings by the greatest literary men who lived in that time. One of them, JungCheul who was an ancestor of my family cultivated many clever juniors at Soshewon from 1551 to 1561. It is still exist for visitors who want to feel the ancestor's emotions.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Sunday to you Young Won!

It seems that you had an extensive research about your hometown to find out these details to place here on your composition. In many countries, one's roots is very important as it is where you trace your origin, culture, and tradition.

Now, you can tell these to your children for them to pass to their children too someday.

These details are more than enough for an IELTS answer. Thank you for always doing your best Yong Won.

See you tomorrow in class. Have a great night!

-T. Donna =)

My hometown which is Damyang is famous for beautiful scenes of bamboo trees, peaceful farms, and malleable people. 
>> Correct!

Thus many literary men were born in Damyang. 
>> Correct!

Most poets used to discuss about political issues and share their opinion about their works.
>> Correct!

There was a kind of school called SoSHeWon where was built in 1530 year in Joseon Dynasty. 
>> There is a kind of school called SoSHeWon that was built in the year 1530 in Joseon Dynasty. 

The walls are decorated with gorgeous hand writings by the greatest literary men who lived in that time. 
>> Correct!

One of them, JungCheul who was an ancestor of my family cultivated many clever juniors at Soshewon from 1551 to 1561. 
>> Correct!

It is still exist for visitors who want to feel the ancestor's emotions.
>> Correct!
Or: exists
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106361 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4485
106360 Homework ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4512
106359 Some people get into debt by buying things they don¡¯t need and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5046
106358 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of driving... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3
106357 In what ways do you think people discriminate against older... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 1
106356 Hi º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3902
106355 Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4418
106354 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4
106353 What are your fears? List some fears that you have and try to... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4236
106352 Stars accused of school bullying paying price À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 1
106351 diary ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5556
106350 [Online Pub] Show us your traditional drinks À±*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4265
106349 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 0
106348 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4096
106347 What was the most exciting thing that happened to you this... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 1
106346 the rich and thr poor ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5275
106345 Describe a line that you remember from a poem or song. Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5384
106344 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 2
106343 Do you think that older people make better leaders? Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4731
106342 Do you think meat-eaters are healthier than those who don¡¯t eat... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4431

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04