¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HI....

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*Çö
2021-03-22 3511

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



hi,

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Jessica!

Cheers,
Jean~~




                   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people refer doing
schoolwork or jobs that are easy to challenging ones. Use specific reasons and
examples to support your opinion.


It is dabatable whether people can benefit more from doing schoolwork or jobs
that are easy to challenging ones than doing difficult things in schoolwork or jobs.
>> It is debatable whether people can benefit more from doing schoolwork or jobs
that are easy than doing difficult ones. 

This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be
different depending on people¡¯s perspectives. 
>> correct

In my opinion, however, I support that doing schoolwork that are difficult ones than doing schoolwork or jobs that are easy to challenging ones for the following reasons.
>> In my opinion, however, I support the argument that doing challenging schoolwork or jobs is more beneficial for the following reasons.

This is because first, people can learn more about that fields, and they can think
more and more. 
>> First, people can learn more about that field, and they can think
more and more. 

To be specific, designing new things, and utilizing the knowledge
in school or company make very useful things and improve their abilities.
>> To be specific, designing new things, and utilizing the knowledge
in school or company to make very useful things and improve their abilities.

For example, computer programing school teacher who is related to c++program
can teach more if someone make two of them and combine a variaty of program
things. 
>> For example, a computer programing school teacher who is related to c++program can teach more if someone makes two of them and combine a variety of programs or things. 

It is differ from students which prepare a lot of things or a few things if
some students have same opportunity.
>> It is different from students who prepare a lot of things or a few things if
some students have the same opportunity.

 It will be become lots of ability gap, while learning something.
>> The result will be the large ability while learning something. 

Second reason is that people can be credited for that works more than easier
things. 
>> Second, people can be credited for doing challenging works. 

If someone make some game just use one program, it is very easy to make
and everyone can do. 
>> Creating a game or program can be quite easily done by almost everyone. 

If someone who make game combine lots of things and
apply many of things, someone can achieve recognition who use that game or that
field¡¯s teacher or others.
>> However, a person someone can achieve recognition by making a game and combining lots of things, and applying many things.

All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has
been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. 
>> correct

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106516 Do you think sites like Facebook are good for friendships or do... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-13 2
106515 DESCRIBE A PERSON YOU KNOW WHO SHOWS HIS OR HER FEELINGS OPENLY ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-13 3874
106514 What accomplishment in life are you so proud of yourself? Is... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-13 8210
106513 Homework (240) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4265
106512 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3605
106511 Tom Bodett, an American author, voice actor, and radio hos said:... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4974
106510 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4511
106509 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 6334
106508 mythical creature ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4457
106507 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5682
106506 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3896
106505 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 0
106504 Homework0312 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4528
106503 My favorite toys was clays. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5490
106502 What would you like to see when you visit a park? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4179
106501 Do we need to be honest all the time? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 2
106500 What holiday in another countries do you wish to also be... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4097
106499 My day. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3
106498 Physical appearance ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4210
106497 Why is English fluency significant for you? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4620

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04