¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-22 3304

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is the biggest change this world needs?
I think we have to think our own thinking, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
Because some of the part of the social is wrong, but we just pass it and just live our life.
Even though, some poeple know some part of the social is wrong, but they just pass it.
So I think we have to get our own opinion, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
We need this change, and if we do this, the world can be change better before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think we have to think our own thinking, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
>> I think we have to have the voice for our opinions. 

Because some of the part of the social is wrong, but we just pass it and just live our life.
>> Because every time that we see something wrong, we just let it pass and move on with our lives.
 
Even though, some poeple know some part of the social is wrong, but they just pass it.
>> SAME SENTENCE AS ABOVE

So I think we have to get our own opinion, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
>> That's why I think we have to have the voice for our opinions. 

We need this change, and if we do this, the world can be change better before.
>> We need to change this and if so, the world will be a better place. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108126 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 643
108125 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 702
108124 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1
108123 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 667
108122 Interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 0
108121 Why I want to study in Graduate school. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 679
108120 What¡¯s the best thing about your mom or dad? Are your parents... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 692
108119 What is your daily morning routine? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 678
108118 My Weekend. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 814
108117 Work3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 634
108116 Work2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 809
108115 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 788
108114 Homework🍰☕️ ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 669
108113 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 2
108112 Colors Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 796
108111 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 0
108110 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 0
108109 When do you usually have a family reunion? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 748
108108 Full vaccinated people can skip 14-day self-isolation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1
108107 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04