¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-22 3283

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is the biggest change this world needs?
I think we have to think our own thinking, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
Because some of the part of the social is wrong, but we just pass it and just live our life.
Even though, some poeple know some part of the social is wrong, but they just pass it.
So I think we have to get our own opinion, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
We need this change, and if we do this, the world can be change better before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think we have to think our own thinking, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
>> I think we have to have the voice for our opinions. 

Because some of the part of the social is wrong, but we just pass it and just live our life.
>> Because every time that we see something wrong, we just let it pass and move on with our lives.
 
Even though, some poeple know some part of the social is wrong, but they just pass it.
>> SAME SENTENCE AS ABOVE

So I think we have to get our own opinion, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
>> That's why I think we have to have the voice for our opinions. 

We need this change, and if we do this, the world can be change better before.
>> We need to change this and if so, the world will be a better place. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107829 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1
107828 Greetings Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 576
107827 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 647
107826 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 0
107825 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 4
107824 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1
107823 Why is it important to learn the English language? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 636
107822 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 793
107821 homework ¾È*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 783
107820 Do you like being the age at which you now are? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1747
107819 What were your best and worst trips? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 569
107818 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 692
107817 About household chores ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 814
107816 \"Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 672
107815 If you can have one thing forever, what would it be and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 841
107814 [04/21]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 2
107813 If I can have one thing forever ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 817
107812 Homework (268) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 720
107811 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 0
107810 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 907

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04