¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-03-22 3202

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is the biggest change this world needs?
I think we have to think our own thinking, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
Because some of the part of the social is wrong, but we just pass it and just live our life.
Even though, some poeple know some part of the social is wrong, but they just pass it.
So I think we have to get our own opinion, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
We need this change, and if we do this, the world can be change better before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think we have to think our own thinking, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
>> I think we have to have the voice for our opinions. 

Because some of the part of the social is wrong, but we just pass it and just live our life.
>> Because every time that we see something wrong, we just let it pass and move on with our lives.
 
Even though, some poeple know some part of the social is wrong, but they just pass it.
>> SAME SENTENCE AS ABOVE

So I think we have to get our own opinion, and we have to get ability that we can talk our opinion.
>> That's why I think we have to have the voice for our opinions. 

We need this change, and if we do this, the world can be change better before.
>> We need to change this and if so, the world will be a better place. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106874 It is very difficult question! ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2535
106873 Divorce Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2766
106872 I have a question Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2082
106871 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2217
106870 How would you feel if you fail to achieve any of your goals? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 1
106869 Stars accused of school bullying paying price À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 1
106868 What\'s your comfort food? How often do you eat it? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106867 Korea\'s pet fish market to frow 35% by 2025 À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3
106866 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 1
106865 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3093
106864 What is the most important factor to consider when choosing a... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3113
106863 Which one do you like more, relaxing travels or adventurous... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 1
106862 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2
106861 What do you understand about dreaming? Does it have any specific... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3725
106860 the advantages and disadvantages of learning English in an... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3182
106859 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3497
106858 Please see this message Sharon,, Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106857 Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at us... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3555
106856 Homework (247) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3186
106855 The biggest change this world needs. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3489

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04