¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-03-22 3276

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think peer pressure is very harmful. Here's a story. When I am middle school student, we were having atmosphere like if you don't get "north face " Padding, you can't hang out us. it was so expensive but I couldn't help to buy this or I couldn't hang out friends. I think Money difference should not exist during they are student.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby! That sounds awful. That's discrimination already. Well I hope this would be put to an end so that no other students can experience the same thing :(

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think peer pressure is very harmful. 
>>CORRECT

Here's a story. 
>>CORRECT

When I am middle school student, we were having atmosphere like if you don't get "north face " Padding, you can't hang out us. i
>>When I was a middle school student, we had a thing that is you don't have a "North Face Padding", you can't hang out us. 

It was so expensive but I couldn't help to buy this or I couldn't hang out friends. 
>> That thing was very expensive but I couldn't help but buy it so that I could hang out with my friends. 

I think Money difference should not exist during they are student.
>> I think financial discrimination should not exist for students. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106779 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2
106778 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 1
106777 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 0
106776 homework ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 1
106775 The advantage and disadvantage of living in the city Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2861
106774 K-zombies are ubiquitous in Korea À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4
106773 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3534
106772 Do you easily accept other people\'s invitation? Why is that? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3370
106771 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 1
106770 Many Changes of My Thoughts Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 5
106769 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3869
106768 Which form of transport do you like taking most? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3634
106767 Question 1: Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? / Question... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 7
106766 What was the biggest challenge you faced when you stayed in... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3942
106765 Giving an expensive gadget to a kid. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3684
106764 Can you tell a brief history of your hometown? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3489
106763 What is the biggest change this world needs? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3727
106762 Govt. task force to summon LH officials over alleged land... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 1
106761 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 8
106760 Jop losses continue for 12th month in Feb. amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04